#even with my mutuals i'm like “OH SHIT COOL PERSON LIKED MY POST”

[anoant-haikyuu-dump]

You liked one of my posts and I got an overwhelming feeling of "Oh my God, a celebrity noticed me!!!"

AGHSDJ That's me with like 90% of this website so I totally get that feeling! I promise you im nowhere near a celebrity though, I'm just a tired college student lmao. I skim the latest tab of the haikyuu tag at least once a day so none of you are safe, hide your headcanon posts cause there's a high chance im reading them >:)

[carlyraejepsans]

UTY!Flowey, "lore" and how to criticize a fan prequel without being an insufferable pedantic, a guide by Biscia.

(for my muskless fellows, here's a transcript of my thread on Undertale Yellow that I posted on Twitter. enjoy!)

There's this really frustrating attitude in fan spaces i like to call "lorepilling" where people are substantially more concerned with encyclopedic knowledge of details & minutiae (so called "lore") in place of full-text thematic/narrative analysis as if the two are mutually interchangeable.

It's especially common in large franchises and story heavy videogames, and it's like... Are You Treating This Piece Of Art Like A Trivia Battle Or Are You Treating It Like A Story

This is coming from a person who is also deeply autistic about UTDR trivia btw, I'm just saying that when it comes to transformative *stories*, depending on the impact it has on character, themes, and narrative structure... lore is expendable.

Ultimately this is why most of the UTY criticism i see (on twitter specifically) falls flat. What does it matter if "lore" means Flowey couldn't chronologically be there when the justice human fell, as long as the game narratively justified his presence in the story in a compelling way?

The real criticism, in the end, is that it didn't.

He's a plot central, main cast character from the canon returning in a cast of mostly OCs and what does he have to show for it? An admittedly sick boss battle in 1/3 endings, sure but... not much else. He has no significant "presence" in the story, no tie, interaction, or even just... an opinion on the rest of the cast. Which is a huge miss when Flowey's meta role is to be Thee completionist player mirror. He's the OG lorepilled UT fan! He's an opinionated little shit!

This isn't to say that UTY *didn't* engage w/ his metanarrative. When me and @a-town-called-hometown first started playing the game (we were both skeptical of Flowey's inclusion), he immediately said "It would be really cool if they made it so this has been going on for a while and Clover has no idea". Which is precisely what the game did in the neutral ending, and what I will openly say was the most well written & well executed part of this game's story...

...a part we almost didn't see, because the pacifist ending disappointed us so much we lost all will to replay.

To put it in the words of my friend Mel @clowwwnbytes, there's a deafening hollowness to UTY Flowey's motivations & core principles where his guilt towards Chara—and resulting black and white thinking—should be. You're telling me Mr Kill-or-be-killed, "sacrificing yourself to do the right thing is stupid", would stand there after 1000s of failed attempts to make Clover survive, look on as they make the same mistake Asriel he did, and fondly call them friend? Cue the guitar, roll the credits?

He would lose it. Oh my god he would lose his goddamn mind, he would throw the nastiest temper tantrum in the world. Are you serious? How dare you. How DARE you. All this effort, all my patience, and you just let yourself DIE for a few worthless idiots? I should've let you ROT!

*clears throat* sorry got a bit too into character. as i was saying.

I can understand a UT prequel wanting to distance itself from the canon Chara storyline in order to form its own identity, but then turning around and choosing Insane About Chara The Character™ for a sidekick is... far from optimal. In the end, Flowey comes across as underutilized and inconsistent, with a whole lot of wasted potential.

This is an issue I have with UTY's character writing (original AND returning) and story structure as a whole. Lots of inconsistent character arcs, tonal dissonance, overuse of situational sadness... it's an amateurish work, after all, and you can feel it. There's no shame in that.

(Though, there ARE some issues that i take more seriously with its writing, especially when it comes to its two main female characters—Ceroba's lack of narrative agency and depth borders on misogynistic writing imo. But that's a topic for another day)

Over all, UTY was an incredible piece of collaborative transformative work, with gorgeous art and a genuinely incredible OST, which... would have benefited from more experienced writers. But hey, you can only ever learn by trying!

For all it could've been a better story, it certainly did not fail to entertain: both when my friend was playing it, and after in our many discussions of its writing, its faults and how it could've been improved (royal scientist!ceroba character fix you will always be famous. to ME!)

I'm sure this project served as an incredible source of experience for the developers: as individual creators AND as a team. I look forward to their future projects!

but also if i have to see another person say UTY is better than Undertale i might turn into The Jonker.

end of the essay! really couldn't stand any of the pedantic ""criticism"" I'd seen of this fangame so far, so i had to say my piece as someone more versed in analysis. happy to elaborate on anything in the replies or in my inbox!

[tapwater118]

pinned post jumpscare blauughh

pronouns.cc | strawpage

hiya i’m flower!

i'm plural i think. i (the host) also go by golf ball, GB, box, gaty, maddie, tap water, tap, captain coinpin (<- silly), etc. queer person on the internet with too many names, check

collectively tap/tap water, she/they, 21 y.o. (individual names/pronouns can be found in the pronouns.cc)

fictkin with a bunch of weird blorbos (if you couldn’t tell from the first part) and a-ok with doubles! friends from across the multiverse

i like various things and then will proceed to draw them. big fat bfdi/osc special interest mostly (i am a huge multishipper (based) btw so erm yeah)

feel free to use my art and such as pfps/banners/whatever, just give credit pls

let the record show that i am bad at using social media so uh i am probably a terrible mutual sorry in advance

also if i like over explain something to you please do not take it as a slight against you, i am just autistic (as if it wasn’t obvious)

if ya wanna know more, feel free to shoot up the ask box or dms, i love answering questions. i also like taking requests over asks! just note that it may be some time before i get around to your request

(regarding dms, please come in with something more than ‘hi’. i’m not comfortable initiating conversation with someone im not familiar with.)

(also don’t flirt with me. you don’t have a rat’s chance)

strawpage stuff and other incoherent ramblings are over at @taps-other-blog so look there!

also pleeease tag fireafy neg around me ty. im not even really attached to that ship its just neg about it can really put me in a bad mental state for some unknown and probably dumb reason

if you ship and/or support adult/minor, incest, zoo, etc get tf away from me ewwwwww nasty

things you’ll probably see me blabber about/draw at some point:

object shows (particularly bfdi, but i also fw inanimate insanity, hfjone, boto, animatic battle, team room 125, orb, tnm, burner, object kerfuffle, love of the s*n, ppt2, itft, ee, and others im probably forgetting) (oh and idfb fear garden tee hee)

mario

kirby

pikmin

undertale/deltarune

pizza tower

fnf

homestuck

fnaf

petscop

horror stuff in general

regretevator

to be expanded once i remember more stuff

(art may be suggestively crude in humor but never nsfw)

(also if you ask i can always add tags to stuff if you have something in particular you want to mute, i dont mind)

i am working on some cool projects i think you should check them out because they are cool:

Occasionally Coinpin: hosted over at @occasionallycoinpin. posting coinpin, occasionally (the main reason you don’t see coinpin content here all that often)

Book Askblog: hosted at @twotonedhardcover, where i pretend to be a gay little novel for shits and giggles

Battle for Hopes and Dreams: a bfdi x undertale au that puts the characters of bfdi in the world of undertale. tagged as “#battle for hopes and dreams”

Competition for Fantasy Retreat: a bfdi swap au that swaps characters’ compositions and parts of their personalities. tagged as “#competition for fantasy retreat”

BfDI 1990: an unfiction reimagining of bfdi as an NES game from 1990. tagged as “#BfDI1990” (unreality content warning for this). please note that this is NOT an ARG, there is no game or puzzle to be solved, it is simply unfiction

Tap’s BFDI D-Side: a bfdi d-side take, where characters’ designs and personalities are remixed for something new and refreshing! (based on fnf d-sides obviously) tagged as “#tap’s bfdi d side”

BFDI Redux: a hypothetical bfdi season 6, featuring many of the tpot rejects as well as underutilized veterans. tagged as “#bfdi redux”

OSC horror content: i like turning the silly blorbos into fucked up evil creatures. general tag is “#FLApasta” but each story has its own separate tag (general content warning for these)

other tags i’ll use frequently i think:

“#asks” all the crud that ends up in my inbox and also some very nice things. it is a mystery

“#yap fest” for general inane ramblings. i say some very stupid things

“#ultra yap fest” for long posts, including rants and character analyses

“#slop tier post” art and other things that are generally below a certain threshold of quality i hold for myself. i’m probably too harsh on myself but oh well

“#word salad yummy yummy” fanfic stuff. im on ao3 and wattpad if ya didnt know

“#top tier post” “#all the day every day” “#one for the ages” posts that i really really like. usually from moots

“#literally me” fictkin id posts. you get it. no you don’t. i don't get it either

“#oiny” wife

list of Friends :D

@booktaggy

@bottle-ditzy

@depraced

@lemonxlimee

@l1ghtbulb

@novaazurite

@ohmysheetmetal

@sourscheming

@therandomcreechur

@twig-gy

[starzgaze]

hope you don't mind me ranting rq--

i constantly think about your yan!Hae-In and yan!Jinwoo ideas because they're so fun to mess around with.

bc what if the readers honest to god reaction to either of then confessing to then was "i don't feel the dame way.. you wanna see this cool bug i found?"

that OR the reader is a little freak of a poet and writes romance novels with concerningly detailed cannibalism scenes and is more interested in the shadow ants than either of them.

also i'm planning on writing a fic about the cannibal poet reader, but it's going to take a while because i'm shit at writing-

LMFAOO IDC IF U FLOOD MY INBOX ITS FINEEE more people to talk to anyway because im a bit of a pussy to talk straight up to my mutuals sigh

also thanks i actually have alot in my drafts its just most of them are unfinished and i have no idea if i should let them see the light of day or not... same with w.jc , chi, and sjw sick day fic LMFAOO uhhmm anyway!!

that's actually something i lovvee experienting with lowkey especially as someone who takes a big looong time to realize 'oh they liked me" and it's been fucking months since they confessed but anyqay I actually act like that most of the time it's pretty bad anywaaay this is funny as hell with yandere jinhae who's TRYING their best to make you swoon even if they're not the best with romance but you still don't... budge... bur hey you'll show them some cool colored bug you picked off the side walk! that's hopefully not a mutated monster that escaped a dungeon.

anyway more on the first idea this probably either ends really well or horribly depending on how both jinwoo and haein receives this ooooooorrr the circumstances really on how much they both value you but since im a freak for borderline this is insanity why are you writing this type of literature let's say that if you rejected then you have one swordswoman who accidentally fucks you up psychologically (I don't see haein someone who would do it willingly or deliberately gets enjoyment from it) but with jinwoo its a bit complicated to say because each person has a different take on how jinwoo perceives romance and how he processes feelings but since its my post im going with it's probably borderline fucked up if we consider the fact the more he levels up or grows the more apathetic or inhumane he becomes! im gonna abuse the hell out of this concept

but anywya with jinwoo u're probably gonna either get straight up kidnapped OR because you're lowkey desensitized and carefree that maybe kidnapping doesn't really have any affect on you then he might just sends weird eldritch horrors depictions of death and darkness when you're about to sleep so now you need a cute bug themes night light to sleep because no way you're letting some death incarnate screw up your sleeping schedule.

also those two as an attempt to maybe sway you might get into bugs or whatever little interests like jinwoo is having small consultations with beru or has him on standby everytime he spends time with you or haein overcoming her trauma (this takes place after jeju island) and learns and starts to love bugs just for you to reciprocate her feelings then these two quiz eachother on who knows more and what not it's literally amusing to see them debates over fuckinf caterpillars when you returned with take out because they insisted hanging out with you

anyway now on the latter I LOVE LOVE grotesque depictions of love especially like with murder OR cannibalism like how probably eating eachother is like a way of showing affection and how now your love will always be inside of them (literally) or something along the lines!! it's actually so cool how it's portrayed in media i need some suggestions actually anyway in the context of jinhae and mc being a poet uhmmm I'm not sure because i suck at making poems so im not the best on how to... make this work... i hate writing poems but I'll stick witj the theme of being a romance horror writer but not what you think of like colleen hoover or whomever the fuck wrote haunting adeline (god please i hope those books gets SMITED off the face of earth because this has stained dark romance to the point i dont even wanna acknowledge dark romance as a genre).

if you're a popular horror writer who specializes on creeping out your readers but still somehow delivers a good message or screwedd up message in between the lines of ripped boddies and intestines then jinhae has probably heard of you before like definitely.

like the themes of your books or poems to other people seems to be very disgusting or only written for the shock value but maybe to jinwoo or haein they have a whooole different meaning or one of your books/poems struck them really deep they got into a bit of a rabbit hole going through your collection as an author. i can definitely see both of them becoming fans and attending meet and greets.

oh my god a thought came to me and it's basically how would these two act in the internet if your name was beinf slandered like because your books or poems is not well perceived by all because you would occasionally write screwed up romance that you do not condone at all!! it's all for the sake of symbolism and experimentation with the material but anyway these two would have different reactions to this

for example haein seems to be the type to not be sooo like... like how do i explain this shes the type to have an anonymous account and goes to those forums to have actual discussions and tries to be civil as she can be when she tries to convert these haters why they should like you because i can't see her going as far to try to find this individual's address BUT but im just saying if ever that same hater was in the same dungeon raid as haein, there's no guarantee that haein will probably let them... die and say it was an accident.

anyway jinwoo is less interactive on the internet and is more of a lurker but he's probably the definitely the type to send ominous messages and then appear on their doorstep next morning or even minute if they're that unlucky LMFAO. another case of missing people otw!!

oh and i lowkey love the whooole idea of if you have a writer darling no matter how screwed or how fluffy their stories are the person or people who loves them will try to recreate this. yeaaah i can see this happening with jinwoo and haein and the tiny competition they have is who performed it better.

like for example if you written a poem about the elegant slashes of a sword on how it glides so easily through certain monsters, haein would try to replicate the feeling and explains to jinwoo that she obviously is better at portraying at this because she is a certified swordswoman or something along the lines and honestly jinwoo can't exactly argue against that because she's right but he won't admit it

then with paragraphs that depicts the most grueling experience of death and what not is something jinwoo is really familiar with and he's the type to copy it by doing it on random monsters he encounters in dungeons or even certain monarchs if they're that unlucky or jinwoo feels a biiit experimental LMFAO yeah okay what my brain is fried.

oh talking about darling being a horror romance writer, the moment jinwoo introduces his shadows or you find out about you become absolutely infatuated with them and the whoole idea like especially they're permanently serving death that's a pretty neat idea to you.

you start to write more and talk less to jinwoo and mooore to the shadows, it's pretty funny to see but you didn't notice the fact jinwoo is fuming in the background as he watches you get into in depth discussions with igris and bellion about their past lives and how you'll implement their experiences in a poem

yeha kay thats it my brain wugh dead bye uhm yeah talk to me more i love this sm thanks for food for thought

[inchidentally]

Why do I feel like Oscar is intentionally keeping Lando at a distance because he assumes it would never work out? And Lando kind of wishes Oscar would show an interest but he isn't so Lando pulls back too? Maybe I'm totally crazy but feels like they're doing a double fake out. If not then why not just be friendly the way they are with other guys?

@twinkodium helped talk me through this ask so a huge thank you to her <3

gonna put below a cut and include some other asks that aren't necessarily of interest to everyone and are kind of in the same vein (note the tag)

okay so "why not just be friendly like they are with other guys" is a pretty good thing to focus on bc when you actually break it down, Lando and Oscar define themselves as being pretty shy and they conceal a fair amount their lives and closest friends from the public. and truth is that it seems to take both of them at least a year of knowing someone before they open up - and even longer before they're as friendly as we see them with guys like Logan, Zhou, Carlos or Daniel. Lando lists the guys he's known since as far back as karting as his closest friends. so after just one season together, what we already have in terms of friendliness between Lando and Oscar is pretty damn good!

but honestly we can't say that either of them are really holding back at all when we've got Andrea and Zak constantly emphasizing how in sync they are and then of course how big they both show up for each other's wins/poles etc. whatever we don't get in terms of fun fandom content, we've got them showing each other mutual respect and support and sharing the same priorities. that's... really good imo.

it's what cracks me up abt everyone who went all 'planetf1 angry white dad in oakleys selfie in a truck comment section' over that recent Oscar quote. Lando's literally had everyone saying the same thing to him, directly and on social media ?? did they also decide that Martin Brundle, Natalie Pinkham, Lawrence Barretto and Jenson Button all despise Lando and want to take swipes at him by saying that his public flagellation feels of no use and worse, that it's probably a hindrance to his mindset? did Lando suddenly became loathed by all these people who SEEM to openly like or love him bc they said that ??

or did they expect Oscar to respond to that question with "oh no yeah it's cool that my teammate who I actually like shits all over himself and gives his haters ammo y'know to each their own whatever man" bc that WOULD actually be incredibly cold and hurtful asgajsgfljasf

I know fandom can go way off track and start expecting these men to talk like fan fic but the truth is that they view each other as professionals and fellow drivers first and friends (if they are) second. I won't repeat myself bc I've posted about it enough but none of the grid are a significant part of Lando or Oscar's life outside F1. Lando and Martin did a stopover in Perth (and apparently Martin even had work there?) for one day to ride dirt bikes at Daniel's ranch and Lando went to Carlos' sisters' gigantic state wedding lol. doesn't compare at all compared to Lando's time spent with Max F, the quadrant folks, his family, his Monaco friends and definitely not Martin Garrix. it also doesn't mean that they're not still friends with those guys on the grid - it's just not the same.

so the fact that Lando and Oscar aren't out here dishing out bromancey stuff where fans can see and hear definitely doesn't say that those bromances mean the drivers are actually any closer. Oscar relied on extroverts like Robert and Arthur to give him something to play off and Lando relied on Carlos and Daniel for the same. so when they're left without a gobby extrovert they do that cute thing of giggling and handing back and forth to each other. to me personally it's always kind of sweet ?? that Lando and Oscar do the thing of looking at each other for support to get through the cringey and awkward to camera stuff. sometimes when Lando is really feeling himself Oscar can just kick back and watch him. and as we saw w that helmet design video, even when Oscar isn't filming w Lando he hangs around offers support.

wow apparently I cannot stay on track today anon but idk I just personally think that it's the opposite of a mutual fakeout and they've bonded pretty well over both being shy, both being equally focused on their careers and also needing to switch off sometimes. finding out they spent the night after Lando's crash in Vegas together sharing "commiserations" is like, one in a long list of us hearing that they chose to hang out alone together and not publicize it.

all of us are on the outside of their friendship and as much as that suuuuucks for not getting as much content as we want, it's also really sweet and kind more likely to be genuine and lasting since they consider a lot of that relationship as private <3

askgfka no prob!! tbh a lot of the stress and anxiety in other Lando ships is down to ppl getting way too comfy w the idea that real life partners either aren't "real" or that they're the only thing standing in the way of their ship becoming real.

and bc for some reason landoscar makes me want to write all of these essays I feel like it's kind of my responsibility to be like yeah, there's even more than just assuming ppl's sexualities and their real life partners stand between two ppl we like to imagine together actually getting together. rpf is heavy on the f and mostly what we're all actually enjoying are friendships. and as someone who is lucky to have them, I personally wouldn't be one of those ppl who said romantic partners and friendships are on some sliding scale of importance. they're just different!

ever since landoscar became a thing, Lily's been in Oscar's life and Lando's been pursued by every man who sees him and burning through baddies on Raya on a literal global scale. it's important to come back from rpf to that fact so we don't end up attraction those legions of people calling real life girlfriends "PR beards" or that Lando's dating app horniness is some front for him meeting up with Carlos or Daniel or whoever lol.

oh I am so not the person to answer abt this since I can't relate to wanting couples to get married or thinking that it's all that significant! I'm a huge romantic and I theoretically enjoy the idea of weddings/marriage but all the ppl I know who've gotten married out of college are already regretting or cheating it so it's put a real damper on it for me.

but that's as much as I want to speculate abt them bc I don't want to put anything out in the universe for ppl I'll never even know !!

[bnnuy-wabbit]

Cunospig -> bnnuywabbit

Name's Lago. I'm 22.

My art tag is #feral art tag

My asks and messages are disabled due to spam. If you want to contact me you can send me asks in any of my other blogs (Like @marmenlade, that's my OC/aes blog), send a submission and pretend it's an ask, tag me anywhere and/or comment on any of my posts INCLUDING THIS ONE, call my actual real phone number in real life, scream my name really loud or even reach to me through the ether. Seriously. Feel free to talk to me if you so happen inhabit a human shaped shell at this moment in time.

I'm prone to note spamming mutuals btw! I personally love being note spammed. It's a love language. To me.

If you happened to stumble upon this blog, you Must Know that I'm obsessed with many things like Sandman as of writing this post!

I'm Brazilian. As in from Brazil. As in Born There and Living There till my eventual demise, possibly. If you also happen to be one of those or adjacent, feel free to hit me up. �� nois 🤙

I treat my blog as an open diary. There'll be cool things about my life and things in excited abou t and things that make me upset and general life shit. I also talk a lot about my little brothers endeavors because i love him and he's my little creature. If any of this or the stuff i blog about bothers you, i recommend not following. Also this blog contains adult stuff because im an adult, so follow at your own risk and/or pleasure! I think you should be in control of what you use your eyes to look at. I ain't a cop.

More info under readmore!! But only if you feel like it.

Other than the aforementioned, i have Many other interests that Can and WILL show up here, like:

My OCs and worldbuilding

Portal

Half life and hlvrai

Disco Elysium

Stranger Things

Homestuck

Whump stuff

FNAF

Literally whatever show and game im currently watching or playing.

SO, so many bands

I'm VERY into music. My favorite genres are 00s pop, industrial, heavy metal when it's a joke, classic rock, synthpop and mpb. I love learning more about music and getting to know new music genres. Autism list moments. Feel free to throw some at me!

Random info: I use emojis and smileys unironically. I just love to pepper my texts with some emotion here and there. I promise there's no sarcasm associated to my emojis and smileys. If i send i smiling smiley i Mean It. I also add !!!! To them if I'm particularly excited. Tone tags are confusing to me, I don't use them.

Regarding The Me: I'm queer and weird about it! My gender is completely none of my business. Also I'm an Artist and creator at heart, so i draw a lot, i like sculpting things with clay and foam, i love doing collages, i like playing my guitar and sometimes i write fucked up things for fun because it's Fun, tho i wouldn't call myself a writer. I'm diagnosed audhd. I'm weird and not in a cutesy way sometimes, but at least I'm funny about it i think!

I'm uhhhh a med student with a background in AG/rural sciences (vetmed + fishing) which ig is kinda funny. The funniest thing about me is I'm an honest to god fishing technician. I have a fucking diploma in fishing. I have no idea how or why, it still baffles me to this day that i made it through fishing school!! I have plenty thoughts on the ag/fishing field as a whole and a bit of experience with Some Things. I've worked in a few labs and written and published a few papers and I've wanted to be a Real Scientist when i grew up since i was a kid :) I don't know what I want to be when I grow up now. Maybe work in emergency services or something. Or maybe. Perhaps do something research related. I am Nosey.

I'm surprisingly a bit shy, even though nobody believes me when i say it! I'm getting over it, though. Please feel free to send an message somewhere asking for my discord if you'd like to chat. My messages are off for nonmutuals because I'm tired of getting spambots and my asks also. But i post a lot. Seriously just respond and go like 'oh hey can i DM you' and I will DM YOU. One thing i MUST state upfront if you'd like to talk to me and be friends: I'm trying to get better at talking to people. I'm soooo not very good at it. Don't blame yourself if our conversations fall flat. Talking and initiating conversations with people is Hard, but I'm alright at keeping conversations going if you tell me about your likes and dislikes or if you wanna do small talk! My cheat sheet is: Talk to me about your favorite weather, your timezone, what you like learning more about, about your country and culture or your favorite types of music and your favorite bands! Tell me about yourself, please!!! ALSO. Talk to me about fandom. Feel free to complain about petty things, I do enjoy a good complaint. And passionate rants. I'm told i can be cool to talk to if we get to know each other, I'm told I'm a very trusting, agreeable and judgementless individual. I like to believe that is true. To be fair, I'm eager to make new friends and learn more about people and we'll surely bond over something, I'm absolutely sure 🥰.

I have a lot of blogs. Like a LOT. I'm not going to link them all here, but they ARE linked to my main somewhere. Probably. Have fun collecting them all or something. It's wayyyyyy too many.

Here's my favorite one: @marmenlade

I think that's about it.

Updated: 7.jan.25

[dykephan]

hi, totally agree with you about the december getting together thing and just wanted to add on to a few points. One about online perceptions and stuff is they mightve both wanted to have this appearance of a cool, sexy, mysterious, emo guy on the internet who is "mature" and has casual sex all the time nbd lol and not wanting to seem clingy. Its kind of embarrasing to want more sometimes (its cheesy, its meant to be). For Dan I also dont think he would want Phil to see him as an obsessed fan (also the age thing) so putting up a nonchalant front would help put them on more even footing. For Phil its just like you already said mainly and not wanting to scare Dan off, following Dan's lead. Also Dan just getting out of a longterm relationship and being 18 he might not have been inclined to tie himself down quick when he was single for the first time in a bit, especially to someone who lives far away, but then obv realized this thing with Phil wasnt just going to be some casual fling. Also lol this "reveal" was not weird/ suprising to me bcos of my own experience of being with this girl for like 3 ish months had been friends previously we were having sex and saying we loved eachother etc but whole time being like we're not dating though lol

oh 100% agree, especially when you're at that age it's sooo embarrassing to admit you do want to find someone who cares about you and enriches your life and shares a future with you... it's so much easier to flirt with strangers online and pretend you're too cool to feel any particular way about it. like you said, i think it comes down to both of them realizing that this was not going to be some casual fling. and 2 months is honestly no time at all considering how much they had to think about & plan for!!

also yeah i agree it wasn't surprising to me it was more just like. first of all like holy shit why are you sharing this information with me unprompted are you sure you meant to say that?? second of all, i guess i didn't KNOW until i KNEW. it's one thing to look at the things they posted around that time period and make guesses, but hearing it out loud made me feel sooooo dumbfounded. idk why but that one hit me way harder than the tour bus thing...

anyway let me share a personal anecdote here because it's only fair after i've invaded their privacy i should embarrass myself a little fksjfks many years ago i started talking to a tumblr mutual and we got super close as friends, we spent literally hours talking every night and we'd even fall asleep on skype just to be with each other. i told her things i have still never told anyone else in my life. and ofc there was heavyy flirting which was fun except i have horrible commitment issues.. doing all this online didn't feel as scary and real to me. but then we made plans to actually travel and meet up, and i started getting. idk. itchy 😭 but i did go across the country to meet her and it was such a perfect weekend, she was so funny and beautiful and even more magnetic in person. it clarified my feelings about her in a way that chatting online never could, but also it scared the shit out of me and so when that weekend was over i went back home and i told her i couldn't do it anymore and that was it. we tried to be friends after that but it just wasn't the same and neither of us had our hearts in it. i still think about her and hope she's doing well but we haven't talked in years

so basically i'm living in the dark dan and phil timeline where they filmed pinof and then said okay bye dude 👍🏻 fuck my stupid baka life

[starrzies]

★20! [Birthday Art - Personal Art +Speedpaint]★

WOAH!!! I'm 20 now!! That's kinda crazy right? 2 decades on this planet? Pretty cool if you ask me!

My attitude towards my birthday is SO different form last year and I am SO HAPPY!

I got out of a shitty relationship, I'm doing so much better in school, have a job, got to see TF One multiple times, connected with my family on a deeper level and even got a cool therapist who is continuing to help me improve! And this isn't even mentioning all of the people I get to call my friends and mutuals who have helped me through everything <3 Overall, these last 4 months since the breakup have been CRAZY GOOD. Who knew that's what I needed to actually feel good about life LMFAO

Anyways, I have a lot planned for today!! I'm getting my second tattoo and going to scour a few stores for Transformers related stuff, It'll be fun!! Oh, and eating a shit ton of pumpkin pie! Despite that, I did want to come on here and post something and also give a MASSIVE thank you to everyone who has supported me and interacted with me this last year. You guys genuinely helped me so much and I'm so glad I could even just interact with you in passing.

Until next time!

Quick Reminder!!  I DO NOT allow people to reupload, repost, claim, trace, reference or use my art without my Permission! If my art is posted anywhere else other than my accounts it’s not mine! If you like my work, consider following me or commissioning me!! (This does not count if the art was made for you! Please remember to credit me though!!)

Art Trades are Open! Commissions are Open!! Do NOT ask me about Requests!! Do NOT; Reupload, Repost, Claim, Trace, Reference or use my art without my Permission! 💜

You can Dm me Questions or Concerns! Like my work? Check out my Carrd for where else you can find me!

[shzmluvrs]

From A Distance

Prompt: So, your best friend meets a superhero...

And of course, it being Freddy Freeman and all, he goes all in, faster than the Flash. He never meant to neglect you in the process. Truly! Besides...you weren't feeling too bad about it. You totally understood and would be there for him, by his side like you had already been for years, no matter what. Wouldn't you? ... Wouldn't he?

Timeline: During/Post Shazam!, Pre S!:FOTG

TW/Content: Angst (hurt/comfort)⚡️Swearing⚡️Raised Voices⚡️Crying⚡️Comfort/Forgiveness⚡️Freddy being a dummy⚡️Mutual pining

Reader: Fem! She/Her/Hers Pronouns!

Requested by: A reader from my personal wattpad...yes, I grabbed this from my watty and reposted it here, IDC, y'all need content, I'm providing, that's all that matters😌🤲🏽✨️.

Back to the Master List

       "Freddyyyy...! . . . Oh shit-..."

What at first was a joyful call upon bursting into his room, it quickly cut off into a quiet murmur, your (E/C) eyes landing on, not only the curly-head you had near scared to death, but another boy standing beside him. The room went silent, you tucking in your lips awkwardly to hold back an amused grin at their blank stares of confusion.

       "Uhm-"

       "Dude, how did you even get in here...?!" Freddy laughed suddenly and wildly, a grin stretching onto his face when you further shuffled into the room.

       "Duh, I broke in." You joked, your gaze shifting between your best friend and the mystery kid. "What about him? Is he about to rob the place, too?"

       Freddy watched you, both of your eyes playful as you pretended to pick-pocket small trinkets from his desk and into your pockets.

       "Nah, he's new."

       Your jesting intent vanished into a look of surprise, having known exactly what his words meant.

       "(Y/N), this is Billy! I'm sure he'd gladly shake your hand, but he barely talks, so, I dunno."

       Billy swiftly rolled his green eyes at the statement, and immediately, you couldn't help but dislike his presenting attitude. How could anyone remain so hostile with Freddy around? He was sweet and kind, funny, and always aiming to please. There was no need for anyone to be rude to him.

       Not that it really stopped the Breyers, but, not the point.

       You simply just couldn't fathom why anyone would find him annoying or...whatever! Not when you had been around the boy since the sixth grade. Not when he was so gentle and understanding, an amazing drawer with such cool hobbies and interests. Did you already mention sweet and kind? Not when he had the biggest, coffee-brown eyes and the most adorable pattern of freckles. The craziest laugh that always made you cackle ten times harder. The cutest nose, the softest looking lips...

"Why...why is she literally about to explode?"

       "Pfft-"

       Freddy snorted at Billy's murmured observation, leaving it now your turn to roll your eyes. Even so, you truly couldn't hide the deep blush as you desperately tried to cease the shaking in your hands. Freddy noticed this, keeping his true thoughts to himself while he watched you wipe the sweat away on the denim of your jeans and finally offer a polite hand to Billy.

       He wondered why you blushed so hard all of the sudden, why your hands shook the moment you had been introduced to a kid you barely even knew. Hell, that he barely even knew! It was odd, seeing as you were never like that with him or anyone else you both mutually knew.

       He had only ever seen you this way about some random celebrity you liked. About...-

       "Y’know, your features kind of remind me of Jacob Elordi."

       Billy's brows furrowed a bit at your comment, reluctantly taking your hand only to soon regret it.

       "...Who?"

       'Oh god...' Freddy thought, annoyed with the fact he had not only been indirectly friend-zoned (for the millionth time), but was also now faced with possible competition.

       "Oh god...!" Freddy then let out exasperatingly, tipping his head back before placing himself right back into his desk chair. "Don't get her started, man. She's never gonna sto-"

       "-Hush!" You quickly interjected, before doing just that. "He's this actor from this show I like called Euphoria! You both kinda got the whole brown hair, green eyes thing going on, and you both have kinda prominent noses!"

       "I..." Billy started, but you hadn't heard, lost in your own thoughts and observations.

       "But he's a lot taller. And your eyes are a little more upturned. And you have dimples, which, I don't think he does. And your jaw is a lot more square. And-!"

       "-I don't know who you're talking about." Billy cut in plainly. "And you can let go of my hand now."

       Your brows knitted for a moment. Both at his bluntness and his statement before looking down and realizing you truly had been subconsciously shaking the boy's hand throughout your entire rant.

       "Oh shit..." You mumbled again, swiftly pulling away and cursing it when you felt your cheeks grow hot a second time in embarrassment.

       "Sorry..."

       "Yeah..." And with that, he gave one last glance around the entire room before pushing the strap of his backpack further up his shoulder.

       "Bathroom?"

       "Second door to your right." You and Freddy jinxed, sending each other the slightest of smiles at the coincidence while Billy was already halfway out of the door.

       "Thanks..."

       You finally let out the huff of air you hadn't realized you were hanging onto, moving towards Freddy's bottom bunk and pulling his pillow into your lap as you sat.

       "Well...he's a real charmer, isn't he?"

       "Yeah, he's not been told very many jokes." Was Freddy's quick response to your sarcasm. You were swift to dish out more, though, always able to match the boy's energy the longer you had been with him.

       "Mm. Maybe you're just not funny."

       "Augh-!" He gasped/scoffed, pressing a hand to his heart in deep offense. You gave an innocent shrug, giggling at him as he made attempts to defend himself.

       "I quite literally am the most funniest person you will ever meet, (N/N). I-I can't even believe you just said what you just said-"

"-Ryan Reynolds."

       "Like, I- Hm..." Freddy quit mid-rant, nodding slowly with a point in your direction as if to give you props for your suggestion.

       "Okay, second. Second most funniest. But you can't deny that I am funny, I mean, you laugh at all of my jokes!"

       Against your will, it seemed, you found yourself giggling as you shook your head. Freddy nodding his faster while he struck out a hand exaggeratingly.

       "See?! See?! Look at you, giggling away as if I'm just...just some clown sitting here for your amusement."

       "God, Freddy...!" You cackled, having burst into real laughter that Freddy couldn't help but find himself admiring. A light pink even dusted behind his freckles, his heart speeding up once having accomplished bringing a genuine laugh out of you. He heard it damn near everyday, of course, but it never seemed to get old. It was why he was the tiniest bit sad to see it go upon watching your bury your face into his pillow to hide it.

        It didn't last long, though, giggling himself when he saw you kick your feet furiously like a child to subdue your contagious laughter. What he couldn't see was the sudden scent you took in when you were finally able to gather yourself, forest pine meeting your nose with quick familiarty and comfort. Your own heart began to race, almost wanting to take another whiff while another hot flash began to set in. But, knowing it'd be too obvious, you decided against it and reluctantly lifted your head back up along with a comment that made Freddy roll his eyes at you.

       "He did remind me of Jacob Elordi, though."

       "Ugh...!"

       "What?!" You gasped in offense at his groan. "Dude, he's cute! Let me like who I like...!"

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

       Your words had rang through the boy's head all night long, early into the morning soon after he woke up, and even now during lunch as he made his way through the school halls and amidst the crowd of students going the same direction.

       '...And your eyes are a little more upturned. And you have dimples! And more of a square jaw...'

       'Let me like who I like!'

       'Maybe you're just not funny.'

       'Dude, he's cute!'

       'He's cute!'

       'He's cute!'

       'Who's cute?!' Freddy thought, shaking his head as if he were speaking aloud. 'Was she talking about Billy or Jacob?'

       He prayed it was Jacob because at least then, Freddy had a chance. A celebrity living millions of miles away, way too old for you...

       Yeah. That's right. Freddy had done his research. A long time ago at that, leading him to believe that he most certainly had him beat.

       For starters, he was here in Fawcett City with you, so...

       But Freddy deeply didn't think his heart could take it if you were talking about Billy, who had already proven himself the 'cool and collected', 'bad boy' type. And, from other prior research, girls tend to aim for that a lot more than some goofy nerd with a crutch...

       The scene he came upon further proved his point, having made it through the cafeteria doors and instantly caught sight of you and Billy sitting together. A smirk tugged at his lips, watching yet hardly listening to you rant on and on and on about who-knew-what. Billy was amused at your lack of awareness for his own lack of care, but the interaction looked all too different to Freddy, who continued to watch from a distance as he grabbed his food.

       The lunch line inched forward unbearably slow, but it gave the freckled-faced boy enough time to further assess the situation. Trying not to make it obvious he was staring, only to whip his head back if and when he thought he heard your laugh. Tucking in his lips while just simply imagining the cocky or charming things he was spewing to possibly win you over.

       He felt a little selfish at first, but...Freddy had to put a stop to it before it could progress any further.

       "Flight or invisibility...?!"

       You jumped at the sudden voice of your best friend, the boy slamming his plastic tray of school food onto the table and squeezing a chair in between yours and Billy's.

       "Oh gosh..." You sighed, already prepared for the series of information about to come next. Billy, for obvious reasons, was not. His smirk never faltered, but the confusion was still quite clear as he gave a curt, "What?"

       "Flight or invisibility?" Freddy repeated, but didn't even give Billy a chance to answer before he was off.

       "Ya' see? Everybody chooses flight! Wanna know why?"

       "...So they can fly away from this conversation?"

       A snort came from your lips, but you swiftly turned it into fake coughs and the clearing of your throat at Freddy's side-eye. So, you were left with nothing to do but pick at you own food and tune out the rant you had heard nearly a bajillion times. The only thing that hadn't gotten tiring was seeing the bright glint in his eye while he talked about superpowers. A smile stretched across his face that put a grin on your own while he used his hands and arms expressively.

       The shake of his curls, the pitch and volume of his voice all over the place, the urge to just 'boop!' his little nose whenever it scrunched up.

       "...Sneaking around every-everywhere, 'tis- it-...it's a total villain power, right?!"

       The embarrassment of everyone staring at your table as a result of Freddy's shouting snapped you out of your trance. Outside of the heat slowly rising to your cheeks at the attention, you were almost thankful. You felt as though you had no right to be crushing over the boy when he clearly had no thoughts of you other than being a best friend. For the past four years, it had been nothing but superheroes, shit-talking, and whatever else best friends do between you two, and you were confident in keeping it that way as to not ruin what good you already had.

       "You're coming on a little strong, don't you think?" You asked as the conversation of the cafeteria began to pick back up, watching while Freddy swiftly gathered his food and crutch to follow Billy.

       "Hush, (Y/N). I'm just trying to be nice. And I want my bullet back."

       "Uh huh..." You nodded, resting your chin against the palm of your hand while your elbow sat on the table. "Are you sure you don't want me to go with? In case he makes a run for it, I mean."

       "Oh, har-har, you're hilarious." Freddy scoffed, rolling his brown eyes while you giggled lightly. Before he left, he pointed a stern finger at you, raising his brows which caused you to roll your own eyes.

       "Seriously, though. Stay."

       "Woof." Was your only comment, causing him to throw you a joking wink.

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

       That was the last you saw of him. Well, not the complete last, but things felt...different.

       It was never hard for him to make you smile. Whether that be a result of your inevitable infatuation with him or just the fact that he effortlessly tickled your funny bone was unknown. But regardless, your grin felt bittersweet while you watched him. Not in person at the edge of your bed, or over FaceTime on your phone...

       But on the glowing screen of your laptop, watching his latest YouTube video upload from what once was a dead channel now blowing up under the new name, "Hero Manager" unlike the quirky, original one you two had made up a long while ago. "Superman's Left Ankle". God, you thought you two were twelve-year-old, miniature Kevin Hart's with that one.

       Although, Freddy had always been the true comedian of your duo, and it was easily displayed now for millions to see.

       "Shoot 'im in the face!!"

         Including you, in the darkness of your lonely room.

       "Single. Bound."

       You had gone through hours of footage, you were sure of it.

       "Faster than a locomotive...!"

       Just marveling at the fact that Freddy was seemingly achieving his dream. He met a real life superhero! And was his apparent manager of all things!

       "What did'ya' see?! Did ya' see boobies? Were there nipples? Why-...why aren't you talking?!"

        All of it bittersweet, because he never once told you. He never even mentioned the fact of a new superhero in Fawcett City, let alone telling you all of the daunting stories of being his personal sidekick. Not that he had to, of course. But given that you'd known him for so long and practically shared the obsession, you'd think...

       He hadn't been talking to you much at all, now that you thought about it. He was no longer spending hours at a time at your house or texting you constantly with whatever odd thoughts plagued his mind. You missed his good morning memes and the walks to school, avoiding the Breyer twins like the plague in a weird mix of fun and fear while discovering new routes to school. Like it was a scene out of Mission: Impossible or something.

       The only contact you two had shared within the past couple of weeks was him brushing past you swiftly in the hallway, attached to Billy at the hip. His new brother. Without even so much as a quick, "Hey." or a nod of recognition.

       To say you were jealous was the least of it. Hell, hardly envious at all, knowing it was more of an irritation you kept pushing deep, deep, down. Letting it fester into resent that would bubble up to your chest. As a result, you slammed you laptop shut, unable to take hearing Freddy's voice through videos that you had watched over a million times already, even though they were spammed and recent.

       'Ding!'

       Your flushed body calmed, the hot flash subsiding when your phone alerted you of a new text. You almost hated the way how quick giddy grew in replacement of your vexation. How you hoped this could be the chance at a real conversation. Of course, you wouldn't immediately push with strong questions. The boy wasn't stupid, he had to have known you've seen the videos by now.

       You, of all people! Hell, you were one of his first ten viewers the second you saw he uploaded. 'Watch Hero Manager's First Video!' Was the notification, and God, you felt pride and excitement swell in your chest for him. So, of course, you'd gently lean yourself towards bringing up him and his new adventures with The Human Powerstorm. The Red Cyclone. Zap-tain America. Captain Sparkle Fingers.

       Whatever his name was...

─────────────────────

Freddy<3💙

do u have the hmw answers 4 our second period?

Seen

─────────────────────

     Your face fell, shoulders dropping from a tense excitement you hadn't realized you were holding. Your bottom lip went tugged in between your teeth, almost stinging at the sensation from how often you had been picking at it from nerves.

       'No, no,' You thought, hurriedly typing your message. 'I can revive this.'

─────────────────────

Freddy<3💙

do u have the hmw answers 4 our second period?

Yeah I do!

I didn't think you were gonna do any hmw tho, you seem pretty busy lately😅

kinda. thnx (N/N)

─────────────────────

       "Ugh...!" You felt childish for letting out such a tantrumous groan. Not that you could help it, flinging back down onto your bed and staring up at the ceiling to push back the tears that threatened to appear. This was how all of your newly short conversations went as of late. In person or over text.

       He'd get you all riled up, hopes higher than the moon, when he tapped your shoulder or sent you a late night text. Just for it to be something stupid like, "Do you have a pencil?"

       "Do you have the homework? Lemme' copy."

       "...You look kind of tired."

       That one nearly sent you tipping over the edge that day. Of-fucking-course you were tired! Tired of him acting like you no longer mattered, because now he has a new best friend. Tired of him practically ignoring you whenever you did try to pretend things were normal! When you would attempt to ramble to him about the Breyers picking on solely you, now that Freddy was ditching everyday, making him barely a target. When you wanted to talk about the things you always did.

       You got tired of missing his laughter and his jokes, the way his hair fell lazily on his head and there you were, to brush it with your fingers into submission. Tired of missing his eyes and his freckles that matched, the clicking sound of his crutch against the ground when he'd walk beside you, the way he would breeze past you to grab something and you'd smell the faintest of sweet pine.

       "Fuck this..." You grumbled, hastily pushing yourself off of your mattress and to your closet. You slipped on a pair of the first shoes you saw and threw on a jacket. You wouldn't be out too long, you assumed. You were tired of missing your best friend, especially when he was just next door.

       You were so tired of things feeling so different all of the sudden, because things were different. And you couldn't stand it any longer. Not when it hurt this bad. Not when it physically made your chest ache as you marched out of the front door of your house and down the sidewalk.

       Two houses and you were there, knocking on the door of the foster family household. Maybe a little too urgently, unknitting your brows at the way Rosa had met your (E/C) eyes with slight worry.

       "Oh! (Y/N), sweetie!" She gasped, pulling you in for a much needed hug. Her body heat shielded you from the cold air nipping at any part of you that might've gone uncovered. "It's felt like forever since I've seen you last; where've you been?"

       "Uh..."

      Had it really been that long? You almost shook your head against her shoulder. Yeah, you had just established it had been a couple of weeks, but what you didn't realize was how odd it must've been to everyone else. No more tea parties with Mary and Darla, no music sessions with Pedro or video game competitions with Eugene and Victor. No baking with Rosa...

        In your mess of yearning for Freddy, you forgot to yearn for them, too, not that anything really stopped you from coming over sooner. Other than the unbearable awkwardness, that is.

       "Just got a little caught up with school, is all."

       "Well," Rosa sighed with a smile, finally letting you go and ushering you inside the heat of the house. "At least Freddy wasn't dragging you into all of his mess. Him and Billy have been up to so much, lately."

       "Oh, wow." You sighed gently, trying not to let offense nor uninterest slip in your tone. How oblivious the woman was, not realizing that's something else you had missed that came along with knowing one Freddy Freeman. His wild and crazy shenanigans. Although, unlike Billy and him, the two of you had never ditched school...

       "Where is he?"

       Jealously clouded your mind, but you fought it to keep your voice light and even plaster on a polite smile, which Rosa returned.

       "In his room. Why don't you go on up and say hi? I'm sure he'll be happy to see you!" And with that, she was off to tend to the rest of her kids, leaving you to trot up the stairs and plant your feet at his bedroom door.

       You found yourself thankful, almost completely relieved, that it was shut. It gave you time to actually think for a moment, to prep your words and statements without solely relying on spur of the moment emotions.

       'Freddy, I...'

       You made the pivots on your heels as if you were going to pace back and forth, but didn't knowing it might be too loud.

       'I've been missing you lately. Which I know wouldn't be happening if you weren't ignoring me... No, that's too forward and condescending. I feel like we aren't really...close anymore. I know you've been...busy...lately. But when's the last time we've-?...Ugh, no.'

       The pit in your stomach weighed heavy, and if you remained here any longer, you thought you might cry at just the thought of saying things all wrong. You couldn't predict his reactions, nor his words, so you were just going to have to twist the knob and find out.

       "Wha-?! Oh. Oh! It's you!" You nodded, fighting a giggle at Freddy's bewildered reaction. You wanted to remain semi-serious for this conversation, even if his wide smile almost completely stopped that from happening. You watched as he paused a round of Mortal Kombat on the-

       'Woah...'

       Where the fuck did that come from?! A new TV, definetly higher quality than the old box TV that used to sit in its place. It was here you finally noticed all of the surrounding empty cardboard boxes. A new XBox, PlayStation, and set of controllers. New video games, some you swore you had already planned to buy him this Christmas. New merch littered the floor and his bed, new trinkets, new...everything.

       "Where the hell did you get all of this stuff?" You asked, curious as to how it was even affordable when the boy was only making ten bucks a week doing his chores. And that was if he did them at all.

       You barely received and answer, hardly a grumbled, "Early presents..." before he cleared off his desk to make room for-

       "I'm actually kinda glad you just brought the homework over instead. Your pictures are always kinda blurry and it's hard to read."

       ". . .Huh?"

       Your jealously bubbled back up into your chest again. No, no not jealously. It had shifted into something more than that. Maybe a mix, but most definitely more. So much so that you didn't even allow Freddy a chance to clarify before you were speaking again, your tone of voice completely different from that of the easy-going one you had entered with.

       "So, what...I'm just here to bring you your home-...No, excuse me, my homework, for you to copy off of? I'm supposed to just do that, and pretend like everything between us is just-...is just all good, right?"

       "Tch." Freddy snorted a little, not yet catching onto the seriousness of your expression. He wasn't taking you seriously. He didn't seem to care. "Relax, it's fine. You don't have to come over every time I need it. I was just kidding about the blurry picture thing."

       "That's not the point, Freddy." You seethed, and it was here he finally grasped onto your genuine irritation, watching as your gaze pierced through him like a knife.

       "Wait, are you actually mad at me right now?"

       His cluelessness, the slightly amused undertone in his voice, made you all the more vexed. So much so, you couldn't help but allow your voice to raise in the slightest and let your arms and hands help you do your talking.

       "Oh, no shit, dude! Wow, I wonder why! Gee, let's take a look, hmm...oh, yeah, that's right! You ignore me for weeks, you don't talk to me, and when you do, you treat me like we don't even know each other...! Like I haven't been there for you for your worst and best moments. Like I'm not even your best friend anymore! I mean...who does that?! Do you even care!?"

       "Are...are you serious right now? I-...No..." Freddy shook both his head and his free hand, slightly limping backwards to sit at the chair by his desk. "Don't even answer that."

       "Why? You scared I'm being serious? You upset that I might be telling the truth?"

      "No, (Y/N)." Was his stern reply. "It's because I have no idea what you're talking about. I literally talked to you yesterday!"

      "No, you didn't." Was your scoff and eye roll in his direction, only to receive one right back.

       "I texted you, what?!"

       "Yeah!" You burst, whipping your phone out of your jacket pocket. "At three in the morning, asking me if you missed a test because you ditched class for the millionth time, leaving me by myself! Treating me like I'm just some- some..."

       "-Oh, my bad!" Freddy interrupted, raising his hands defensively without a lick of sincerity to his apology. "I didn't realize you had to be next to me twenty-four/seven to feel something...!"

       "Like I'm just some throwaway!" You finished, but swiftly processed his words and continued on. "That's not what I'm saying and you know it! Acting like we haven't been by each other's side for years, just for you to ditch me for some kid that randomly shows up!"

       "That is my brother, (Y/N)!" He gasped, and you could merely shake your head in disdain.

       "He hated you when we first met!"

       "So that's what this is about, huh? You're-...What? You're jealous?"

       You pinched the bridge of your nose at his slow nod and remark, sighing while he kept going tauntingly.

       "If I had known you were so easy to piss off, I wouldn't have bothered telling you anything at all."

       "That's that problem!!" You burst, your throat beginning to burn at both your shouts and the threat of tears. "You never told me anything! You never talked to me, we never talk anymore. All you do is ask me for things and we never..." You couldn't find the words, but you swiftly and easily found evidence of your claims.

       You shoved your phone into Freddy's face, scrolling through the weekly amounts of three sentenced messages.

      "(N/N), can I have the homework, please? Do you have the study guide questions? Do you know the answer to number four? Do you have a pencil? Can you bring me my sketchbook? Can I do this, can I do that?" You mocked each message that flew by, your thumb continuing to scroll as he half-heartedly scanned.

       "I'm not here to be you second goddamn crutch, Freddy!" His brows furrowed at your words, never having gotten the chance to explain himself before feeling the hurt of your words in his chest. All he could think about was how he could counter, how he could respond.

       Something he typically did, usually reserved for run-ins with the Breyers. Never you, not that he was thinking clearly enough to stop himself, or listen to your dejected murmur before speaking.

       "I thought...I- ugh...I thought I was your friend."

       "Then maybe you shouldn't be here."

       "...Wha-?"

       "-Come to think of it, I never asked you to be my 'second goddamn crutch' anyways! You stood up for me when I needed you, and that's fine! But I don't need you anymore! And if you seem to have such a hard time with that, then maybe, we never needed to be friends in the first place!"

       Though your chest ached at his harsh words and tone, you ignored his glared and mulled it over. Longer for than what you would have liked, but you almost giggled when you came to your conclusion.

       You shrugged, inhaling deeply as if releasing would allow you to let go of all of the hurt you felt in that moment.

       "You're right."

       Freddy found himself taken aback by your calm agreement, instantly regretting his words. So much so he was willing to take them back in an instant.

       "Wait-"

       "-I shouldn't have made it seem like you owe me your time just becuse I chose to become your friend. That's not fair of me. You have your family now, you've always had. And now, you have a brother. One your age, at least. So, I understand why it's...why I'm..."

       Your voice trembled and you turned away, making haste towards the door.

       "You get it."

       It didn't take long for Freddy to slip his arm through his crutch and attempt to hurry after you, but you had already fled down the stairs and unfortunately ran into Mary.

       "(Y/N)?" She questioned, already worried like the rest of her siblings. It then occurred to you, as you looked up at the older girl with teary eyes, that the whole of downstairs probably heard your loud argument.

       "What happened?"

       Your suspicions were confirmed when Billy stood in front of his new siblings with furrowed brows and a glint in his eyes that screamed, "I'm sorry."

      But it didn't matter anymore. There was no point, and you knew that. Enough so to push past Mary gently and waltz through the front door, ignoring Freddy's rushed calls after you.

       You were hit with the cold air again, knowing better not to run as you walked back into your house and to your room. Even through blurry vision, it didn't take you long to gather necessities into a minibackpack of yours, a charger, your wallet, the works, and throw on a heavier jacket. You thought about layering up your flanneled pajama bottoms too, but you didn't want to risk it. Too much time and you'd just be met with your parents or siblings questioning you and your distressed state, saddening you further.

       "What happened?" Rosa came rushing into the den, her husband not too far behind. "Did (Y/N) leave already?"

       Mary was quick to put two-and-two together, her sympathetic expression towards their front door immediately phasing into a look of complete disdain while her head whipped around to glare at Freddy.

       "What did you do?" Was his older sister's accusing question, Freddy already pursing his lips together in shame. He didn't really want to answer, already in a state of self-loathing and debating on ignoring the questions thrown his way. Debating on going after you or giving you space. Although, he had given you quite a bit of space already, hadn't he...?

       He wasn't alloted any time to draw a conclusion, Billy already walking towards him with a blank stare. Freddy huffed, watching as his brother walked past without a single word. Just his eyes, that urged him to follow up the steps. With one last look towards the door, he did, and he immediately felt like he was being scolded by an 'I'm not angry, just dissapointed' Victor the second he plopped down on his bottom bunk bed.

       But, in all fairness...it was pretty hard to tell the difference between the two.

       "Okay, am I missing something, or are you purposefully being an idiot right now?! Have you like, absolutely lost your mind, dude?!"

       "I-"

       "First off, I can't even believe you would say...any of what you just said to her!"

       "You could hea-?"

       "-Like, I know you can be kind of a dick sometimes. I mean, hello, so can I. But to her, man?! Really?"

       Freddy didn't get to put a word in, Billy pacing back and forth as he went on in complete dismay and shock.

       "I could've swore the whole, 'I'm keeping distant to protect (Y/N) because I love her' thing was you, duh, loving her! But, seeing as you just pushed her away into oblivion, I don't think ya' do!"

       "Look, things just-"

       "-And second...!" Billy interjected again, leaving Freddy to sigh exasperatingly, almost theatrically. "I'm in...in awe at how you actually just let her walk away like that. Out of the house, maybe out of your life, forever!"

       "Dude-!"

       "Who let's the most amazing, pretty, ride-or-die chick just strut out of their life like that?! In tears, no less!"

       "Billy...!"

       "Freddy, that was probably one of the most stupidest things I've ever seen you do, ever! And I've only known you for, what, two...three weeks?! I-"

       "-Billy, you're not helping!!" Freddy nearly exploded, burying his face into his hands while his brother finally shut up. "I know, okay? I know I messed up, I know that I...ugh..."

       There was a long moment of silence, Billy waiting for Freddy to collect himself before the boy smoothed his hands up his face and through his disheveled curls. Disagreements had happened between you two, sure. Things always easy to just laugh off and forget about. But a full on fight?

       "I dunno what to do." He sighed, pulling his bottom lip in between his teeth to keep it from quivering. "I-I thought keeping her away from all of this would make it so that she wouldn't get hurt. I didn't consider that I...I didn't mean to push her away entirely. I was the one to hurt her and now we both feel like shit because of it."

       "Dude..." Billy let out a sigh of his own, almost that of a groan that caused Freddy to prepare for more lecturing. But instead, he was granted words proving a lot more helpful than anticipated.

       "Tell her everything you just told me."

       "...What?"

       Billy took a seat beside him on the bed, placing an encouraging palm on his brother's shoulder.

       "Find her," He specified. "Apologize...and tell her everything you just told me. That's what you should do."

       Freddy turned his head to look at Billy, the brunette pulling away a bit with his hands raised in surrender.

       "I mean, that's what I would do. I'm not as stupid as you, though, so I'd probably never be in this mess."

       "Augh, shut up...!" Freddy groaned, unable to hold back a determined smile as he shoved Billy away. He stood, looping his crutch back through his arm and making his way to your house with hurry.

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

       He had never seen your house so dark before. The lights always on given the way your family would be scattered throughout the place, leaving switches flipped on in their wake. Never too quiet either, music or TV blasting, conversations happening over one another. Or even yourself, laughing or talking loudly at something you had seen.

       Then again, your front door was never left just hanging open either.

       Freddy had entered slowly, upon realizing he didn't have to knock, trying to somehow quiet the sounds of his crutch clicking against the ground. Though that was nearly impossible, it didn't worry him as much as the eerie feeling he had bubbling in the pit of his stomach.

       Your parent's car wasn't parked outside, which had led him to the conclusion they might've been gone on an errand or something before you had even arrived home. But if that were the case, where were you? Did he dare call out?

       He opened his mouth, but snapped it closed just as fast.

       'No, don't do that. That's like, horror movie rule number one.'

        His quick reminder interrupted his thoughts, but soon enough, he was back on track. Looking towards the direction of your room, he swiftly made his way to your door. Like your front door, it had been left open. Not wide open, but just enough to draw suspicion and worry to Freddy's head. Enough so to where he broke the number one horror movie rule.

       "(Y/N)...?"

       No response, nothing to see but a trashed room that sent panic shooting up through his chest. Your clothes littered the floor, and your belongings had been tossed about as though they had no meaning. Hell, the only light that came from your house was the one that had been left on in your room.

       With all of the apparent evidence and horrible thoughts only a very in love Freddy Freeman could have, he came to his rather morbid conclusion:

       "She's not here...!"

       "What? She just left not too long ago, why wouldn't-"

       "-She's gone, man! She's...she's...!"

       Billy couldn't exactly process Freddy's yelling, more or less the fact that you had been kidnapped. And before he could get any further clarification that he was sure, Freddy had already hung up. He had already rushed back outside of your house and recklessly let his crutch fall to the concrete. Thunder cracked and lighting shot down, a freak storm, for he had already spoken the name.

       "Shazam!"

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

       You kept your pace hurried, as if you were on the run. Of course, you weren't. But the feeling of bustling past people and wind nipping at your face kept you busy and distracted. Just so that the tears you kept forcing back wouldn't threaten to spill.

       But jeez, was it hard. The more you thought about everything that had happened...the more you mourned the freshly lost friendship between Freddy and you...the more you continued to get lost within the city you, in hindsight, probably shouldn't have gone wandering too deep into...

       The harder it became not to place yourself right there at that park bench, take a shaky, deep breath in, and finally allow yourself to cry.

       As bittersweet as it felt, to finally release all of that tension at the expense of what could've been, you didn't get to for long before your head had went flying back up from your hands at the sounds of shouts from not too far away.

       "Holy shit...!! Oh my go-...! There you are, oh my god, (Y/N), you're okay!"

       "...What?" You squeaked out unsurely, nerves wracked at the sight through blurry tears. A man, caramel-colored curly hair hanging around his face while dressed head to toe in blue and gold. His white cape and large, yellow, lightning emblem further making him stick out to anyone around to see. Hell, if you didn't know any better, he was literally glowing.

       "(Y/N), I thought something horrible happened to you, you scared the shit out of me...! Y'know, I've only ever fought one supervillain, and that was kinda recently, so I don't think I would've known what to do if I had to fight another one by myself..."

       He began to speed walk closer to the bench you sat on, leaving you to quickly dry your tears and try to plan your next course of action. With very little amount of time to do so, you ended up scrambling away behind it as if the smallest of barriers would really protect you from whoever this crazy guy was.

       "I don't know what you're talking about...!" You admitted hesitantly. "How do you know my name?!"

        You couldn't bring yourself to ask who he was, because in truth, you kind of already knew the answer to that one. As he stalked closer, you were able to recognize his suit under the cloak of night. It resembled that of the new superhero that had been running around Philadelphia, and then, it clicked.

       "I've seen you before! My friend posts these videos of the guy dressed in red, like, all of the time. And I saw you on the news, with those other superheroes...you all dress the same."

       It was now his turn to give you a look of confusion, stopping in his tracks just before the bench while he tilted his head. He watched your gaze shift down to the ground, continuing to wipe away stray tears that further worried him.

       "I mean-...Not my friend, just...someone I know, I guess. I dunno anymore..."

       "You...you don't know?" He repeated, defeat laced in his own voice as if you really had been kidnapped. No. It was...it felt a lot worse than that. He had lost you because of a stupid fight and it was all his fault. Things can't exactly go back to normal after that, but he would try...

       He sat himself down on the bench and patted the seat beside him, you awkwardly following his instruction when you realized he was trustworthy. He was a superhero, after all. What else would he be besides that?

       "Do...you wanna talk about it? Maybe things could be worked out. Fixed."

       "No..." You grumbled, shaking your head at his words. You pressed your face back into your hands to hide the onslaught of more embarrassing tears.

       "Well, that's fine. We don't have to talk, we could just-"

        "-No, no I do wanna talk." You interjected, your voice muffled. "I just mean no as in there's no point. I'm the one that ended it with him. And for good reason. We...we just didn't work out."

       "Jeez, ya' make it sound like you broke up with him..." His joke eased the tension in the slightest, but you could only huff a little before giving a shrug.

       "Might as well have..."

       Freddy faltered a bit, unsure if you were about to say what he thought you were.

       "...It's stupid. It was stupid of me to think we might've had...I dunno...something more. We were just friends. And yet I went and developed this huge crush on him and messed it all up by being jealous and-and clingy. M'so stupid..."

       "What? Hey, no, no, you are not stupid. You are like, the smartest girl I-...er, he knows, and if he can't see that, then he's the stupid one, don't you think?"

       He softened when you looked back up at him, tears in your eyes and an unsure gaze to match as he went on recklessly.

       "He was the stupid one, not to have seen it sooner. God, I mean, it was so obvious, how could I-. . .Clingy, but it just meant you cared and worried and that's all anyone could ask for in a friend. I should've...Gah..."

       He groaned as he stood, his sudden movement making you rise up to watch him. Not to mention, you couldn't help but notice the odd act of him talking as though it was him you were referring to. It only worried you more. Maybe this guy was just some random in the evening. Or, even worse, a hallucination.

       "I shouldn't have ever pushed you away, that was dumb. I was just...I just wanted to protect you, so that no one would come looking for you, because as we both know, a superhero's loved ones are like, number one bad guy target."

       "How do you...? Wait...wait, I'm confused-..."

       He ignored your hesitant words without missing a beat, simultaneously throwing all caution into the wind.

       "And I never meant to make you jealous or-or hurt your feelings back there at the house. If anything, I was jealous because I thought you were getting close with Billy, and...I shouldn't have just treated you like you're only here to give me the answeres to my homework or whatever else you've helped me with. I'm sorry for treating you like shit, and I'm sorry I never told you everything you deserved to hear come from me."

       "How...how do you...?" You were at a loss for words, soaking in the heartfelt apology that had come from some...random superhero rather than-

       Wait...

      "...Freddy...?"

      The man looked up from his shameful stare at the ground, and it dawned on him that not only did you not completely know who he was and this was probabaly really weird for you, but you might have certainly figured it out by now...

       "Ah shit...I...I'm sorry, I have to go, I wasn't-...You weren't supposed to hear any of that. Er-...You were! Just not like this, I-...Oh, whatever, screw it..."

       He gave up trying to cover his mistake, simply taking a reasonable step back.

       "Just...don't freak out, 'kay?"

       "A little late for that, but okay..." You murmured, rushing off of the seat and back behind it again.

       "Shazam!"

       You jumped at the loud cracking of thunder and shielded your eyes from the flash of lightning that hit the ground. In an instant, you were met with the very boy you had basically ran away from, his knees planted in the grass with a pleading look that had you on the brink of tears all over again.

       "Freddy..." You repeated breathlessly, slowly making your way towards him as he stumbled through nervous words.

       "I know, I know, I...I'm an asshole, and I should've told you sooner and I...I never meant to-to hurt you, (Y/N). Really, I didn't. And I know I've been a real jerk lately, but it was just...I just wanted you safe..."

       "I know." You nodded swiftly, everything becoming clear as you gently stooped beside him. "But...Freddy, where's your crutch?"

       He couldn't help but solemnly laugh, his eyes looking deep into yours in a sense of amazement. He couldn't believe that even after all of this, after the way he made you feel, you still cared enough about the boy to worry about his leg. To allow him to lean his head against you and shrug a little while you hugged him close.

       "It's...in front of your house, I think. Outside."

       "So reckless..." You murmured against the top of his head, having missed his scent, his touch...

       "I know..." He nodded, releasing a shaky breath before looking back up at you.

       "(Y/N)-..."

       "-I forgive you. And I'm sorry I went off on you like that. Earlier, I mean. I wish we would've talked it out, or...I don't know."

       "It's fine. I lowkey deserved it." Freddy smiled. It slowly grew into a grin, one that you could recognize from a mile away. A shit-eating one, that immediately let you know the boy was up to something which left you to pull away with a smirk of your own.

       "What now?"

       "You actually have a crush on me?"

       "Ugh, shut up!" You pushed him away slightly at his tease, your cheeks heating up at the question anyways while he laughed frivolously.

         "Why don't we work on being best friends again before you start getting antsy, alright? And, not to mention, you need to start telling me these things more often! Like how you're an entire superhero, and that your siblings are, too! And-!"

        "-Yeah, yeah, I hear you..."

I feel like some people might find the ending a bit rushed, but I was actually kind of going for that slow-burn, best friends whether you're lovers or not, type of feel/vibe, y'know? But I hope you enjoyed it regardless!!

~ Star✨️

Back to the Master List

[spacelazarwolf]

The way vaspider responded was so,, weird ?? Like I could be reading this wrong but you guys weren't friends, you just reblogged from eachother and had a general mutual respect for eachother but like. They were talking as if they knew you personally ?? Esp with that "I know you're better than this" what

i'm probably gonna stop answering asks abt vaspider bc i don't want this to become like A Thing, just so y'all know i'm not ignoring you if you've sent asks that i haven't answered, but yeah that attitude of familiarity was weird when they really hadn't interacted much with my posts in the past beyond reblogging the bigger ones. the vast majority of my followers, even my mutuals, really do not know me!! which is fine, social media connections aren't always this deep bond, sometimes it's just 'oh hey cool my mutual posted a cool thing.' so it feels very weird for someone who i'm pretty sure wasn't even following me to reblog my post with such hostility and such familiarity.

also to get a little vulnerable, my adhd comes with a big heaping side of rsd which often makes situations like this really difficult for me. i've had situations in the past where i've had groups i'm part of turn on me over a disagreement with a more prominent person in that group (has happened like twice online and once in real life) and what started as stupid group politics turns into me losing my entire support system overnight. i don't think tumblr is necessarily a fully blown support system for me, but i still have that fear that something i say will get taken out of context, or someone will misinterpret in the worst possible way something i've said, and then i'll have people coming after me and calling me a horrible person. the trauma from that (and like i do fully consider it to be trauma, as does my therapist, bc it's fundamentally changed the way i interact with people and ask for help) is really exacerbated by shit like this. so i'm mostly just doing my best to stay stable.

[thekimspoblog]

Introducing myself to a new mutual.

Me: I'm mostly on here to yell about how Kim should be allowed to become a villain if/when she gets her own spinoff.

Them: Like an alternative universe? 👀 or in the breaking bad timeline

I’ve never heard anyone say that before sounds pretty cool she def would fit the roll

Me: I'd like to see her story continue after BCS. My headcanon is that she "relapsed" pretty hard back into being Slippin' Kimmy, given how clearly miserable she was trying to be a "normal" person in Florida. I also think it would be interesting if her ruthlessness found an outlet in the form of joining the reproductive rights movement; I honestly feel like it was an oversight how BCS never brought up the attacks on Roe.

Most of my fanfics also involve her going back and starting a family with Jimmy if it's not too late. But admittedly that part is mostly just wish fulfilment.

I guess I would specify that when I say "villain" I really still more mean "antihero". I think Kim Wexler works as a Mary Sue for addressing many contemporary social issues, some with easy solutions and cartoon villains to defeat, some with no perfect solutions available whatsoever; my favorite character arc in BCS was easily the Mr. Acker subplot.

But even if she is actively trying to be a moral person, it's more interesting if Kim is not omniscient and frequently makes a wrong or questionable choice when faced with a trolley problem. Walter White was only ever interested in his own self-aggrandizement, but if I was going to give Kim her own series to go on another power-trip, I'd like to see her trying to make the world a better place and failing. And even in the situations where she does help more people than she harms, she is networking with (and frequently antagonizing) many extremely rich and brutal people, so even when everything goes according to plan, this lifestyle is still dangerous for herself and the people who love her. And in that sense, even if she means well, it's still a selfish goal to pursue.

Them: That’s so so interesting, I always thought that the way BCS ended was great. It was bittersweet. But when I think about it, actually it would be really cool to have an elaboration of Kim. Kind of like El Camino where Jesse got an ending he deserved after all Walt put him through. Even so it is a little jarring to have no follow up on Kim after the end of season 6. I know that morally she is not the best person (as with literally everyone else in the series) but I can’t help but feel she did deserve better despite this. With Jimmy, I couldn’t ever see him going back to being slippin Jimmy but for the opposite reasons. He never really attempted to have any moral compass, in comparison. Which is what ultimately led to his demise. I guess the one thing they have in common is that despite their differences they’re both faced with higher powers and the system that failed them both.

Oh! Do you have AO3? Or do you upload elsewhere

Me: Yes I'm on AO3.

In the new story I'm working on, Jimmy has one job: say no to Kim. I agree he has never self-actualized, so in SK I do have him trying to find his own path. He meditates now and shit.

You can see my fan trailer in my pinned post.

I think he probably would go back to being Slippin Jimmy if Kim told him to, given that she was the main reason he stopped in the first place. But yes, the way I want to write it, even he has roads he's not willing to go down again and would leave her if she ignored his warnings.

Them: So cool :) I’ll check it out when I have time

[divine-misfortune]

This is your excuse, please bestow the gaming thoughts

So since my initial post turned into me writing raindrop being stupid and soft, I'm going to be dropping my more rambly thoughts relating to elden ring in particular here. This is gonna be long, probably-

I think class wise, Rain started off as a warrior - a dexterity based dual wielding class.

I think he ended up getting pretty fond of the twin blades and dropped the dual scimitar in favor of the twin. He strikes me as the type of person to insist that bleed builds are overpowered, yet still use bleed builds because if it works, it works.

Dew laughed at him when he entered the open world and instantly got called maidenless, Rain elbowed him for that one.

Rain also stupidly fell into the trap of the Tree Sentinel, a large man on a horse patrolling the starting path to the first church. You think you're supposed to fight him. You are not. He will rock your shit. Rain got his shit rocked.

Also if you've never experienced it, please know that if you do trigger the sentinel, the music goes from this to this very suddenly and the first time it happens it is an actual Heart Attack seeing this fucker running at you.

Rain's favorite area of the game was Liurnia of the Lakes for obvious reasons.

Like, c'mon look at that! It's a very cool area with a lot of hidden stuff around. He spent so much time exploring all the half sunken buildings and cathedrals.

I think the first time he ran into the crayfish, he thought they were silly and sort of cute but that lasted all of thirty seconds before he got absolutely bodied by three of them at once and lost a hefty amount of runes.

Images taken seconds before disaster:

Now Rain has to kill the damn things out of spite when he sees them. Fuck those guys.

Dew doesn't really follow the lore, and despite Rain explaining to the best of his ability, he still doesn't understand it. But Rain seems happy enough to talk about it, so he'll listen, even if he's confused as all hell.

He DOES however really enjoy the scenery of the game. His favorite area was probably The Eternal City of Nokron.

A place underground with an artificial night sky. Rain idled in this area a lot, just because Dew wanted to look at it a little longer.

The boss fight that Rain had the worst time with was absolutely Mohg Lord of Blood. He got so fucking mad in the second phase where your health is suddenly drained and the boss regains his.

The first time he was fighting him, and that happened, he audibly gasped in offense and yelled "you cheating bitch-".

His favorite fight was probably Rykard Lord of Blasphemy. It's sort of like the games gimmick fight? You get a cool spear out of it.

Also that's a fucked up looking snake.

Both of them mutually agreed Ranni was their favorite NPC.

Dew's first take on her was "she's blue like you-" and Rain couldn't help but laugh at that. It was a little silly, but endearing. It led to Dew adopting the pet name doll, which makes Rain roll his eyes but he's still grinning.

Dew tends to leave the game alone because these types of things are hard but there was one time Rain left to go to the bathroom and Dew got really curious and picked up the controller. Five minutes. Five minutes alone and he accidentally managed to summon a dragon.

You cannot pause these games either. Oh he mega fucked up-

[rattyshipss]

New currently unnamed dreamt up f/o headcanons and playlist:

He's my boss at some new job it wasn't very clear what the job was in the dream so I'm still working that out

Mf conspired with someone I know to help me pay for my years at the position because it was somehow something I had to pay for and a job at the same time, still working that out too

But I might still keep that because in my dream he was so genuinly excited to tell me that when him and the person I knew were dealing with "technical issues" they were really working on getting everything paid for for me for at least a bunch of my years there, it was really heartwarming and I remember but being like "O-oh" and trying to figure out what to say and all of my coworkers laughing at my stutter (Not in a rude way just laughing at how shocked I was)

It would DEFANITELY be a looong mutual pining situation especially with out situation

He was super respectful too like he didn't try to make a move or anything and kept it professional but still cared about me a lot and was really rooting for me/genuinly happy for me and to help me

He'd absolutely be the most protective boss (/Secret admirer) ever after learning about the situation at my old job

Nobody's gonna be able to do shit

Once we do start dating I'm not gonna be able to tell him the name of one of my old coworkers who was involved in the situation and if I ever let it slip he'd immediately store it in his mind forever

If I ever mention anything even slightly worrying about someone like in that situation mf would perk up and immediately be on guard I wouldn't be able to let anything slide past him

That's probably for the best tho

He'd be so fucking annoyed if I kept anything worrying from him too

I can just imagine his annoyed ass face like a mix of this "👀🧐🤨😠🙃"

If we ever got found out for our relationship at work (It would be hell especially since he's my boss holy fuck) he'd defend the hell out of me going off about how good of a worker and person I am and no matter how much they wouldn't believe it he'd make sure they heard him when he said the relationship was real and it wasn't for any of the wrong reasons and that it was worth it

The money aspect in the begining would fuck everything over

Mf would get the absolute most slammed during all of it I feel bad for him

I feel like there would be a hate train on him for AWHILE after that that would hopefully eventually die down at least a bit

After awhile I'd be constantly joking about it too I'd make so many cracks about him he'd be sick of me

For a lack of better words I feel like we'd be the cool couple, like just close and comfortable with eachother and matching eachothers energy being stupid together, also mf looks DAMN GOOD in his loner emo look

He'd 1000% be the type to be completely obsessed with his s/o and worship the ground they walk on

He'd absolutely immediately take in and coparent my rats with me

Pre relationship and post relationship he'd always make sure I ate lunch at work and had an actual lunch mf wouldn't accept fucking crackers

I WANNA GET A PUPPY WITH HIM

His favorite Taylor Swift song is Maroon I feel it in my bones

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Playlist:

+ Prison for life (Unreleased) Olivia Rodrigo and Fantasize (Unreleased) Ariana Grande (There will probably be much more added to this overtime)

I'm very excited about these so reblogs and opinions are very appreciated but obviously not required!💖

[bunny-hoodlum]

☆ Share 3 fun facts about you, then pass this to three of your mutuals! ☆

Wow, I've been tagged four times! @alexis513, @littlemonstert-blog, @mrs-messy and @mysummerchoi, thanks for tagging me. :3

@mysummerchoi, I feel the exact same way. 😭 Plus, I'm not used to supplying info about myself when asked, haha. That stuff always evaporates from my head. ( . _ . )

I might have maybe almost died when I was three or four? Just kidding, but my mom thinks so. It was a day at a Californian beach, I was buried up to my neck in the sand for a picture and I guess they buried me too close to the water, so when a wave washed over me, they completely lost me in the sand, like either I sunk in deeper or sand washed over my head. My uncle just scooped me out like shwoop! lol. Without a picture, I won't know if it was a bad as they thought it was.

I can be clumsy and hurt myself and for whatever reason I never get scared or feel pain with this happens. Sometimes it feels predictable or like it's happening in slo-mo and I just go 'damn' before it happens. Like, at my old job working warehouse, I tripped on my ankle I think? And I just neatly fell forward like a feather, like I just knew not to resist or I'd hurt myself more. Try to imagine a lego man but with bendable knees. Now picture how you would use that lego man in a stop-motion film. It was like that. And it was so weird too that I thought it was funny. Sometimes when I derp and hurt myself it is actually pretty damn funny, but if it happens too often I get severely frustrated and devolve into a 5-year-old. Another time we got rear-ended twice near the offramp to Santa Barbara, and before the second impact, I just relaxed expecting it -- cuz you know, shitty drunk drivers survive because they literally can't tense up or do something worse like move to look behind them (you will hurt your neck doing that) -- But… But..! Try to get my attention when I can't see you, I freak the fuck out. This was probably more than one thing, but I think it's all related to each other lol.

Maybe this is too personal, but I always find psychology and whatnot very interesting, so from that perspective I'll share this bit of dumbassery: My attachment style has improved but is still pretty damn fucky. I just recently remembered how I had a crush on this boy in middle school (our middle school had 3 separate schools attached, so only time you could mingle with students from another jr high was after school clubs and we met in art club and bonded over FLCL), and I didn't know I liked him until the following year, but then I couldn't do anything about it because he was already dating someone else, a witty Korean-American girl (and I also had a complex about not being Asian enough). Time skip three years and he's finally a freshman, so I get to see him again. (We were same age but he had to start school late). I ask if he's still with her (because I still got some feels leftover) and he said she moved to Canada and had a girlfriend. And fuck if I know why cuz... I don't. My initial reaction wasn't 'Oh goody, I get to try again!'. No. I thought 'She's bi?! Why didn't she have a crush on me?!', like in that split second I wanted to be HER girlfriend instead of this other person. How dare this totally cooler than me girl that grabbed my crush find her own super cool girl to be with, like, first I'm not good enough for him, now I'm not good enough for her, I can't even begin to imagine how cool her Canadian GF must be, blah blah blah, she must be unsurpassably cool because she was chosen by someone also unfathomably cool and that's just how that shit works, blah blah blah-- sigh. The silent screams of my pathological need to be important, everyone. And that is why I will no longer do vent posts, because I feel super ashamed whenever I get validated for my bullshit. ; u ;

Haaa, alright, pick three mutuals. Hm. Feels like everyone got tagged tbh... @peppercornpress @char-lotteral aaaand @spaciousignatius 💖

[golbrocklovely]

I think what’s upsetting to people the most about all this is they feel like they were lied to. Like “I didn’t know SnC acted this way” or “they seem so nice and down to earth”. Truth is: social media, in any form, is mostly fake. Yes there are real elements to it but for the most part things posted on there are fake. Creators post things they WANT you to see and will make them money.

I think the Gabby Petito case is the perfect example. She posted happy photos all the time. How great it was living in a van and how happy she was with her fiancé and it was all a lie. People who followed her were shocked he killed her and was abusive. She never showed it in posts.

You have to create a false narrative because truthfully, real life is boring. No ones going to watch videos of people being real and dealing with real life problems. We all live that. You’d rather see someone go to a haunted place (which are businesses so, that should be telling right there how “real” these places are) and ‘act’ scared or shocked. It’s entertainment. Entertainment isn’t real.

Moral of this post is this: 99% of the things on the internet and social media is BS. Take everything with a grain of salt and don’t believe everything you hear or see on the internet/sm. If you do believe everything on the internet/SM, go out side more. Really, go enjoy the real world. For the most part, it’s pretty cool and will always be real.

this could get into such a longer discussion with so many tangent topics, so i'll try to be as concise as possible lol

you are right about this feeling of being lied to, but i think bc it goes in two different directions, it makes this situation more complicated than it really is, imo.

but i also want to note that i personally don't feel lied to. but i get that other fans do feel this way.

first, you have the fans that put snc on this weird pedestal as these pristine, perfect angels that never do anything wrong and are the perfect gentlemen who would never say something bad about anyone. and the issue with that is putting someone that high up as a saint, they are doomed to fall or break your idea of them. but i also feel like these things aren't mutually exclusive. as i've said before, even the nicest ppl can be assholes sometimes. no one is on their A game all the time. good ppl have off days too. but just bc you act like an asshole once doesn't mean you are an asshole.

for example, having a negative thought about someone doesn't make you a bad person. it's what comes after that thought that can change the path you're on. i could think badly about someone, but if i take it back in my head or even think "oh that was a bit harsh" then that means that i am a good person, who just sometimes has bad thoughts or is judgmental. and snc being immature in this instance, but then apologizing and paying back what they broke is proof they are good ppl, just ones that make immature choices sometimes.

i think it's the ppl, both fans and haters alike, that immediately think this one off instance is proof of a deeper problem are the ones that put snc on an unattainable pedestal. so snc were bound to disappoint them at some point (or in the case of those that hate them, prove them right).

then the opposite side of this is the ppl that are surprised and feel lied to that sam (which was actually seth) would say "all of this shit is fake" / them acting calmer off camera than on. i'm gonna be honest, like i said before (but a bit more blunter the first time around), if you genuinely believe that snc would just ever so casually admit in a random house half way thru an investigation that everything they have been doing for the past couple years, what they have MADE their careers about, is a lie and they are fooling their audience by keeping this ruse up……. i don't think we have anything to discuss. bc one, you have absolutely no common sense or ability to think critically. and two, you already had your mind made up on snc and this was just the "proof" you needed to justify your beliefs.

(not saying this directed at you, anon. just the "you" in general to everyone else)

i've stated before in the past that while yes, snc ham it up, i don't think they outright lie. snc collab with too many ppl that would somehow have to keep the secret quiet, and there's just no way that would happen. snc have money, but not enough to pay off ppl to keep quiet. not to mention a lot of ppl they have collabed with are skeptics, so what do they have to gain by keeping up snc's shtick if it wasn't true? and i would like to argue that while snc definitely do the most when the camera's on, that doesn't mean that they are fake or frauds for doing that.

everyone acts different around other ppl, depending on comfortability. you act one way around your family, another around friends, another around colleagues, another around strangers, ect. does that mean these tweaks in your personality, to save your ass from being completely exposed for something you would rather keep hidden, makes you fake? no, it doesn't. and the same can be said for snc. if they acted like their true selves, it wouldn't be completely entertaining. not only that, they would get eaten alive for their insecurities and everything else in between if they bared it all for everyone to see. i mean, that still happens so in the long run, it's better for them to put on a mask that is similar enough to them, but isn't quite them, to both be entertaining and to keep a distance between them and watchers.

but i think it's wrong to assume that bc they ham it up for the camera that somehow that means the content they create is fake. you can act over the top and still get real evidence. you can act calm as shit and still fake stuff. i think it's a silly argument to try and make, personally.

this also doesn't even get into the talk of what is someone's "true" self? is my true self who i am when i'm alone, or who i am around other ppl? is there even such a thing as a true self to begin with?

also, not to get into what would be an even BIGGER conversation, but haunted locations being business kinda has to be a thing bc one, no one would know they existed if it was just a random family or whatever living in a space. and two, we live in a capitalist society, money is important and everyone needs it to survive. of course ppl will try to profit off of this type of thing, but that doesn't mean that these businesses are fake inherently. it just means ppl need money to survive. maybe if we lived in a society that didn't value money so much we would be able to have places like this exist for free but that's just not gonna happen, especially not anytime soon.

and i do not agree whatsoever with "entertainment isn't real". entertainment is very much real, or at the very least is based in reality enough to be real. when you tell stories of things you experienced, do you tell it 100% verbatim how it happened? bc even then you're not telling the real story, you're telling it thru your eyes, or your truth. most ppl when they explain something that happened to them, they tweak it a little. maybe they're a bit more dramatic, maybe they fib a bit to be funnier, maybe they overexaggerate, but that doesn't mean what happened to them didn't happen. it still did, but it's thru their eyes. bc you and i could experience the same thing exactly, but i might see it differently than you. does that mean i'm not telling the "real" story? no. a lot of entertainment is based off of real events: music, movies, youtube videos, whatever. a lot of it actually happened. of course, molding it into a way to make it more entertaining doesn't mean it wasn't real, unless it was something that just completely didn't happen at all.

snc go to actual places and get actual evidence. whether or not that evidence is bc a machine malfunction or if a ghost is touching it is up to the audience and snc. bc plenty of times snc can paint this idea of the rempod going off as real, but there are many others that will just see it as a malfunction or them clicking a button they apparently have to make it go off. it depends what you really believe. bc i believe that a rempod could be getting touched by something there, but i also think it can malfunction too.

i get why fans feel lied to in some way. i don't personally agree with it, but i understand it. my complaint is that what actually happened is that some of these fans put them on a pedestal that they were just never gonna actually be able to reach. snc have flaws, like all of us do. we all make mistakes and dumb choices we wish we could take back. a one off is not proof of a pattern. a one off is not proof of a deeper problem. and i think setting snc on a standard so high that we don't even put ourselves to is a bit hypocritical.

[shinigxmi-muses]

[ I was intending to get back to replies ASAP, but apparently I have to take a small break and do a PSA, all in one. I just. Can't believe this happened twice in a single year; only a few months apart...

For those who don't want to be involved in any drama/not wanting to bother reading it- (No judgement; I wholly understand.)

TL;DR: I tend to keep my private life and RPC blog content separate, these days. Unless I want to give a heads up, I'm really moving away from the life-update kinda stuff... However, it is something entirely different when you bring your personal beliefs of other peoples' lives onto my dashboard. ESPECIALLY which applies to me.

I will unfollow. I will block. This is my space to relax and have fun. Have your opinions all you like; I intend to care for my own mental health. ]

Okay, with that out of the way... Context. (But kept in vague terms, as I've already unfollowed + blocked what caused me stress today. If you know, cool, but. I'm not "calling anyone out" or what have you. Just saying "this is how I feel, I'm not arguing it, we'll be moving on after this.")

For the SECOND time this year, I've had to find out a mutual has anti-polyamory sentiments. And I get it. Some people have bad experiences with it or know someone else who did. Maybe you just personally don't agree with it. You're monogamous, intend to stay that way, don't care. Whatever it is, I don't have problems with that.

I have problems when it's on my fucking dashboard. I have problems when there's lies being spread that it only could ever be harmful and/or abusive in nature. That it "ruins" relationships and puts children through pain. I also have EXTRA problems when someone can't even own up to having anti-polyamory views, and deletes the posts after making them. (I'm salty over this, yes. Let me have my moment.)

If not obvious already, I am polyam, and so is my partner. We're a duo rn, and not really looking to change that...but open, as we've ever been. I know my limits; I'm probably down for a third, and then no more. Aside from that, I crush wildly, and my boyfriend supports it and teases me about it. (I also do the same to him, LMAO.)

Again, it may not be for everyone. But it's taught me to communicate better. I've learned more about myself. Any relationship failings have never been on polyamory itself; just that we weren't ready or it was the wrong time, like any other relationship.

BUT!!! And this is my major thing... If you don't like it, cool. I don't care; put it on MY dashboard, however, and that's where we have problems. I once again state: I am NOT here to indulge in daily news. To post my opinions. To share my life. If I want to, I have separate sideblogs for that. All connected to my main, away from my Fun Place.

It stressed me out, to start. Totally blindsided me, and I felt like shit. Now? If not yet obvious: I'm pissed. I'm one of those people where I am just as polyam as I am nonbinary or demisexual: that is unarguably me. I've always been this way, but was given words for it from one of my partners. I'm happy this way.

Anyways. Final note/thoughts: Again, believe whatever makes you happy. Live your life and your truths. But I will block if more of this shit ends up in my sphere. I'm not having it.

Oh, and feel free to block me if you disagree, as well. Sucks to lose people over personal matters, but I'm sick and tired of having MY nice things trampled over by other people.